This is how I chill from 87 'til...

About Me

starshine(s) online

24.Jersey Girl. Photographer, Writer, Dreamer, Hopeless Romantic.Freckles

Facebook me: mmendez05@hotmail.com

i LOVE Pink Floyd, vintage band tee's, Zeppelin, anything from the 60s - 70s, hippies, trippin out, smiling, laughing, John Cusack, Eli Roth, Garden State, Almost Famous, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Drake, Kanye, Jay-Z, Sinatra, Pedro Infante, my best friend, tambourines, playing random little songs I make up for people, juice boxes, randomness, fate, love, the dark, vampires, the moon, pixy sticks, Willy Wonka (the Gene Wilder one), Tim Burton, Alice in Wonderland (the book and original Disney film), tattoos, vinyls, photography, karaoke, concerts, bright lights, glitter, Bowie, and Freddie Mercury...and that's definitely not all I love, but, it's just a good overall of it.

I HATE.. conceited fucks, judgemental assholes, people who think cursing is naughty, people who think mainstream music is the best music ever created, people who don't give shit a chance, people who don't believe in love..

Blogs I follow:

1. The little things that give me away…

   Lately there’s been this feeling where I’m noticing the bits and pieces of me that I’ve lost along the way.  People don’t realize it but when I let go of someone in my life – whether it was a friend, lover, enemy or even a stranger – they take a piece of me with them. They probably don’t know it, but I know it and I feel it EVERY time. There’s been so many people in and out my life in the past couple years and it’s to a point where it exhausts me to meet people, become friends or lovers (or both), take time on each other, take time building something whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, and then have to let them go or have them let you go because of fallouts or other happenings.  Not only is it exhausting, but it has me to the point these days where I’m wondering why people have become so disposable. I used to say people weren’t disposable but with everything I see nowadays, I can see that it’s clearly become a lot of people’s form of thinking. I, myself, have done it. I cut people out my life, without thinking twice and I’m left with this feeling that they’ve taken a small piece of me with them.

   Come to find out years down the line, those pieces add up, and the people who have them don’t even realize they do, and you could never get them back. You lose them, and you’re never really the same. It’s unfair and it’s not that I’m holding on to the past. No, this isn’t a note on how the past can’t let me go, it’s more about the fact that when you start giving yourself away in relationships in your life, brief or long, you find yourself missing these pieces. I don’t purposely give myself away. It’s actually something I do with people who I feel are worth it and I learned a lot of lessons about those who weren’t but it’s unfortunate (and frankly annoying) that I think about them from time to time. It’s normal to look back and reflect but I’m so tired of doing so. If there was a way to erase memories of my picking from my mind, I would do it. I wouldn’t erase the things I’ve learned, but rather the people. And sure that may sound bitter, but I’m not.  I’m not bitter towards people in my past, I’m just disappointed that they were once with me in the present and the tides turned for the worst. But that’s life, and I hate to chalk it up to that simple statement but it’s true. And I know that you gotta go through bad and good people in life to see who’s real at the end of the day, but I guess I’m just tired of going through them. It feels like I keep giving myself away and I’m still left with nothing but the fact that there’s another piece of me gone. 

4 Notes
1. purpleheartsaint reblogged this from escapist-in-technicolor
2. escapist-in-technicolor posted this